The first blog I ever read was Kristy Dykes' Christian Romance and from that I decided to create a blog. Then I found Jennifer's and from there I've been bouncing all over cyber space and reading the most amazing stories.
You ladies are incredible. Pictures, recipes, good advice, sad stories, love stories, and crafts. It's all out there in the Blog World.
When I first read Kristy's I thought a blog might be a great idea for me to express some of my feelings through out the day. I've been journaling for years and since I'm in front of a computer all day at work, and believe me work has been slow, but I still have to sit here, thought I would try blogging. In between business picked up then slowed down and life happened, so I don't log on very often to write.
I recently posted a blog about my ex-husband's illness and Jennifer asked how he was.
My daughter has been designated as his caretaker so she's been making all the medical decisions.
He's better in that he is no longer sedated with a feeding tube.
Other issues have come to light. He has been diagnosed with diabetes which has gone untreated and he may have some lung problems. He's been a long time smoker. Right now he is still in the hospital and will remain there until Monday sometime when he will be transferred to a rehabilatative hospital. He's been confined and almost totally out of it for over two weeks so he must get his strength back, prior to going home.
Blessings/b
Thursday, February 12, 2009
Wednesday, February 4, 2009
Warm Thoughts
Just read something that I truly hope I can always remember.
"PRAYER IS THE KEY OF THE MORNING AND THE BOLT ON THE DOOR AT NIGHT."
Prayer is with me all day long, as I walk down the hall at work I'm silently praying for my husband, my children, my friends, my co-workers and in between thanking God for all he does for me daily. And that saying just confirms my day of prayers.
Your heavenly Father knows your needs. He will always give you all you need from day to day.... For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom. Luke 12:31,32 TLB.
God knew what we would need before we were even born. How awesome is that? The friends he has sent me along the way confirms that, and I have needed Him daily my entire life.
My heart has been softened so many times over the years, just when I'm so angry at some one a sweet thought of that person will filter into my mind, and then I feel only love in my heart. And it blesses me no end to know that God never has to have his heart softened toward me, that HE ALWAYS loves me.
Blessings
Barbara
"PRAYER IS THE KEY OF THE MORNING AND THE BOLT ON THE DOOR AT NIGHT."
Prayer is with me all day long, as I walk down the hall at work I'm silently praying for my husband, my children, my friends, my co-workers and in between thanking God for all he does for me daily. And that saying just confirms my day of prayers.
Your heavenly Father knows your needs. He will always give you all you need from day to day.... For it gives your Father great happiness to give you the Kingdom. Luke 12:31,32 TLB.
God knew what we would need before we were even born. How awesome is that? The friends he has sent me along the way confirms that, and I have needed Him daily my entire life.
My heart has been softened so many times over the years, just when I'm so angry at some one a sweet thought of that person will filter into my mind, and then I feel only love in my heart. And it blesses me no end to know that God never has to have his heart softened toward me, that HE ALWAYS loves me.
Blessings
Barbara
Monday, January 26, 2009
Time Passes
I've been reminded this weekend that Time does indeed pass, and often very quickly.
My first marriage took place when I was the very old age of 17. I married my High School sweetheart and we had 3 children. Our first child died with heart problems after only 25 days, but the other two, a girl and then a boy flourished. We were married close to 10 years and then moved on with other partners.
I'm very close to my adult children and in that respect keep up with their father. I've known for some time now that his health wasn't perfect, but was shocked Friday morning to hear that he had a seizure at work and was in the hospital. He's been sedated since then and is now in ICU.
Both children are there with him but each sees their father differently. My son says, "Oh he'll be fine in a couple of days." but his sister sees him and says, "Mom I don't see how he is going to survive this."
Their father is 64, but has a history of heart problems, and has just had cataract surgery on both eyes. Lots of health problems in his family from heart attacks to cancer, so my daughter is remembering how young her grandfather was when he passed away with a heart attack, he was in his very early 60's, then her grandmother in her early 70's died with lung and brain cancer. So she being the oldest remembers them better, than my son does.
Yet it seemed like only yesterday their dad was walking up my sidewalk to take me out on our first date, time passes and now we wait to see how much more time will pass until the doctors give us more news.
Blessings, B
My first marriage took place when I was the very old age of 17. I married my High School sweetheart and we had 3 children. Our first child died with heart problems after only 25 days, but the other two, a girl and then a boy flourished. We were married close to 10 years and then moved on with other partners.
I'm very close to my adult children and in that respect keep up with their father. I've known for some time now that his health wasn't perfect, but was shocked Friday morning to hear that he had a seizure at work and was in the hospital. He's been sedated since then and is now in ICU.
Both children are there with him but each sees their father differently. My son says, "Oh he'll be fine in a couple of days." but his sister sees him and says, "Mom I don't see how he is going to survive this."
Their father is 64, but has a history of heart problems, and has just had cataract surgery on both eyes. Lots of health problems in his family from heart attacks to cancer, so my daughter is remembering how young her grandfather was when he passed away with a heart attack, he was in his very early 60's, then her grandmother in her early 70's died with lung and brain cancer. So she being the oldest remembers them better, than my son does.
Yet it seemed like only yesterday their dad was walking up my sidewalk to take me out on our first date, time passes and now we wait to see how much more time will pass until the doctors give us more news.
Blessings, B
Wednesday, January 7, 2009
Missing Lavada
I had a long time friend Nell Henry and when she died I thought I would never get over missing her, and even now I see things she has given me or go in the house that was once hers and wonder where the time has gone and exactly when did I accept the fact that she was gone.
Lavada has only been gone a short time and almost daily I think about her. When I get in front of my computer and create anything whether it be for work or pleasure I think about Lavada. She loved writing, she loved everything that centered around writing. I did so want her to get published.
I spoke to her daughter in law at the funeral home and she expressed a wish to finish Lavada's books. I hope she's following through with that, for if nobody but family reads her books they will always have that part of Lavada. I have the one book that she was the "ghost writer" on and never got full credit for it. I treasure that book and the fact she allowed me to help her edit it. Kristy Dykes read it too, and like me thought Lavada an excellent writer.
Lavada's name alone spelled out WRITER to me. Lavada Haupt. What a great name.
Missing you still
Barbara
Lavada has only been gone a short time and almost daily I think about her. When I get in front of my computer and create anything whether it be for work or pleasure I think about Lavada. She loved writing, she loved everything that centered around writing. I did so want her to get published.
I spoke to her daughter in law at the funeral home and she expressed a wish to finish Lavada's books. I hope she's following through with that, for if nobody but family reads her books they will always have that part of Lavada. I have the one book that she was the "ghost writer" on and never got full credit for it. I treasure that book and the fact she allowed me to help her edit it. Kristy Dykes read it too, and like me thought Lavada an excellent writer.
Lavada's name alone spelled out WRITER to me. Lavada Haupt. What a great name.
Missing you still
Barbara
Tuesday, November 25, 2008
I won't be there
I receive in my personal email each day "A Mountain Wings Moment." The thought for today really struck a cord with me.
A lady wrote about going to the cemetery and looking for her husband's brother's tomb stone. At first they couldn't find it and had to call Mom to see if she could help give them directions, and when they did find it they felt no joy or comfort.
These are her words below but it says volumes.
"I decided to walk up and down the rows. Those headstones told so many stories while I walked among them, there were mothers, fathers, husbands, wives and babies who had just one day before God took them home.
When we finally found his headstone I felt no sense of accomplishment. It was marble with words. He wasn't there. The good memories weren't there.
If we want to visit Richie, all we have to do is talk to his parents or his brothers or his best friend. That's where we should look, in people’s hearts.
We could move a thousand miles away and still visit Richie. The part of our loved ones that we long for are much easier to find than a headstone. I think we should visit those we loved often with laughter, stories, and a shared love.
I will tell my children when they decide to visit me to just get together for lunch or give each other a hug because that is where I will always be.
Don't bother walking through the cemetery. I won't be there."
I've always told my children when it's time for me to go not to let me linger in the funeral home but to bury me quickly with a simple ceremony, and to get on with their lives. But I really won't to go one step further and just say;
"I won't be there either so visit with each other and laugh out loud over some of the antics of your mother."
A lady wrote about going to the cemetery and looking for her husband's brother's tomb stone. At first they couldn't find it and had to call Mom to see if she could help give them directions, and when they did find it they felt no joy or comfort.
These are her words below but it says volumes.
"I decided to walk up and down the rows. Those headstones told so many stories while I walked among them, there were mothers, fathers, husbands, wives and babies who had just one day before God took them home.
When we finally found his headstone I felt no sense of accomplishment. It was marble with words. He wasn't there. The good memories weren't there.
If we want to visit Richie, all we have to do is talk to his parents or his brothers or his best friend. That's where we should look, in people’s hearts.
We could move a thousand miles away and still visit Richie. The part of our loved ones that we long for are much easier to find than a headstone. I think we should visit those we loved often with laughter, stories, and a shared love.
I will tell my children when they decide to visit me to just get together for lunch or give each other a hug because that is where I will always be.
Don't bother walking through the cemetery. I won't be there."
I've always told my children when it's time for me to go not to let me linger in the funeral home but to bury me quickly with a simple ceremony, and to get on with their lives. But I really won't to go one step further and just say;
"I won't be there either so visit with each other and laugh out loud over some of the antics of your mother."
Friday, November 21, 2008
Another Friend Lavada Haupt in Heaven
God took another writer friend Wednesday night with a brain tumor, Lavada Haupt.
Kristy Dykes critiqued some of Lavada's work and like myself thought Lavada was an excellent writer. She had one book published but at least 4 in progress.
I know God is in control and knows better than I why now and why Lavada or why Kristy. I hope they are sharing writing tips in Heaven. And saving a spot for me to join in one day. We had such good times sharing what we had learned from each other and other sources.
Lavada was only a phone call or an email away when I needed something read over and critiqued in a hurry, for as you should know writers are always in a hurry to get to the next page of their article or book. No time to spare or waste.
I will dearly miss Lavada and her books that I was priveleged to critique, a couple were never finished and I have no clue as to how she planned to end the saga.
She stumped me many times with her romantic words, such as "her heart trembled", being my practical self I wanted to know how a heart trembled or "eyes sparkled", so many of her romantic expressions were wonderful. I began to think I wasn't a romantic, but then my writing led to truth with fiction thrown in, and Lavada wrote Christian Romance.
I will so miss her.
Barbara
11/19/08 Lavada's Going Home Day
Kristy Dykes critiqued some of Lavada's work and like myself thought Lavada was an excellent writer. She had one book published but at least 4 in progress.
I know God is in control and knows better than I why now and why Lavada or why Kristy. I hope they are sharing writing tips in Heaven. And saving a spot for me to join in one day. We had such good times sharing what we had learned from each other and other sources.
Lavada was only a phone call or an email away when I needed something read over and critiqued in a hurry, for as you should know writers are always in a hurry to get to the next page of their article or book. No time to spare or waste.
I will dearly miss Lavada and her books that I was priveleged to critique, a couple were never finished and I have no clue as to how she planned to end the saga.
She stumped me many times with her romantic words, such as "her heart trembled", being my practical self I wanted to know how a heart trembled or "eyes sparkled", so many of her romantic expressions were wonderful. I began to think I wasn't a romantic, but then my writing led to truth with fiction thrown in, and Lavada wrote Christian Romance.
I will so miss her.
Barbara
11/19/08 Lavada's Going Home Day
Thursday, November 6, 2008
Process of Grief
This is a post that I wrote to Milton Dykes who has been keeping up his wife Kristy's blog since she passed away. God is so good to lead us forward after a death in our family. I wanted to share this incase someone else reads my blog and is going through the grieving process. Milton share his story so well, having been there I reconize the process.
I couldn't even begin to tell you how long the grieving process will last or how often it will take you unawares. I just know it does. My first experience with grief was my first child who lived only 27 days, and after three more children I still grieved for the one who didn't make it.
How long? I remember it well, fifteen years and then one day while looking at my then 14 year old daughter, 9 and 5 year old sons, I was okay and I didn't grieve for her anymore.
When my husband passed away in January of 2004 after a long heart breaking illness I traveled the same road my sister traveled two years before. But with her knowledge of the process, and many friends and family I came through, and in November of 2006 when my youngest son married my grief lifted and a week later I met the man I would marry a year later.
A lot of days I prayed out loud, me who always wrote my thoughts down and read books continuously, couldn't read or write for almost 6 months. But then peace came and my mind turned to other things.
I pray this peace for you Milton. Peace and Joy will overcome the grief in time. You are truly blessed to have had such a wonderful wife, who had such an understanding of life and living beyond death. And let us not forget her knowledge of Romance. Remember her and go forth, for there is still much to do. God most assuredly has his hand upon you.
Many Blessings
Barbara
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