I won't be there

I receive in my personal email each day "A Mountain Wings Moment." The thought for today really struck a cord with me.

A lady wrote about going to the cemetery and looking for her husband's brother's tomb stone. At first they couldn't find it and had to call Mom to see if she could help give them directions, and when they did find it they felt no joy or comfort.

These are her words below but it says volumes.

"I decided to walk up and down the rows. Those headstones told so many stories while I walked among them, there were mothers, fathers, husbands, wives and babies who had just one day before God took them home.

When we finally found his headstone I felt no sense of accomplishment. It was marble with words. He wasn't there. The good memories weren't there.

If we want to visit Richie, all we have to do is talk to his parents or his brothers or his best friend. That's where we should look, in people’s hearts.

We could move a thousand miles away and still visit Richie. The part of our loved ones that we long for are much easier to find than a headstone. I think we should visit those we loved often with laughter, stories, and a shared love.

I will tell my children when they decide to visit me to just get together for lunch or give each other a hug because that is where I will always be.

Don't bother walking through the cemetery. I won't be there."

I've always told my children when it's time for me to go not to let me linger in the funeral home but to bury me quickly with a simple ceremony, and to get on with their lives. But I really won't to go one step further and just say;

"I won't be there either so visit with each other and laugh out loud over some of the antics of your mother."

Another Friend Lavada Haupt in Heaven

God took another writer friend Wednesday night with a brain tumor, Lavada Haupt.

Kristy Dykes critiqued some of Lavada's work and like myself thought Lavada was an excellent writer. She had one book published but at least 4 in progress.

I know God is in control and knows better than I why now and why Lavada or why Kristy. I hope they are sharing writing tips in Heaven. And saving a spot for me to join in one day. We had such good times sharing what we had learned from each other and other sources.

Lavada was only a phone call or an email away when I needed something read over and critiqued in a hurry, for as you should know writers are always in a hurry to get to the next page of their article or book. No time to spare or waste.

I will dearly miss Lavada and her books that I was priveleged to critique, a couple were never finished and I have no clue as to how she planned to end the saga.

She stumped me many times with her romantic words, such as "her heart trembled", being my practical self I wanted to know how a heart trembled or "eyes sparkled", so many of her romantic expressions were wonderful. I began to think I wasn't a romantic, but then my writing led to truth with fiction thrown in, and Lavada wrote Christian Romance.

I will so miss her.

Barbara

11/19/08 Lavada's Going Home Day

Process of Grief

This is a post that I wrote to Milton Dykes who has been keeping up his wife Kristy's blog since she passed away. God is so good to lead us forward after a death in our family. I wanted to share this incase someone else reads my blog and is going through the grieving process. Milton share his story so well, having been there I reconize the process.

I couldn't even begin to tell you how long the grieving process will last or how often it will take you unawares. I just know it does. My first experience with grief was my first child who lived only 27 days, and after three more children I still grieved for the one who didn't make it.

How long? I remember it well, fifteen years and then one day while looking at my then 14 year old daughter, 9 and 5 year old sons, I was okay and I didn't grieve for her anymore.

When my husband passed away in January of 2004 after a long heart breaking illness I traveled the same road my sister traveled two years before. But with her knowledge of the process, and many friends and family I came through, and in November of 2006 when my youngest son married my grief lifted and a week later I met the man I would marry a year later.

A lot of days I prayed out loud, me who always wrote my thoughts down and read books continuously, couldn't read or write for almost 6 months. But then peace came and my mind turned to other things.

I pray this peace for you Milton. Peace and Joy will overcome the grief in time. You are truly blessed to have had such a wonderful wife, who had such an understanding of life and living beyond death. And let us not forget her knowledge of Romance. Remember her and go forth, for there is still much to do. God most assuredly has his hand upon you.

Many Blessings

Barbara